so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
