hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
