Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
