Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
