she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
