You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
