Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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