filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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