Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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