Michael Bay diarrhea
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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