I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
