why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
