Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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