Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
