Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
