yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
