have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
