ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
