you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize