you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
