Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize