I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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