Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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