I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
