i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
