it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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