New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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