he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
