No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
