i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
