Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
