So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
im on a boat
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