I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
