He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
they need to just BURY HIM!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize