I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
