i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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