my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
