Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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