So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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