i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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