It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Houston, we have a blender
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
