Will you blow on my dice?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can I color on your dick again?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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