we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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