i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize