I hope mine doesn't look like that
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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