spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
