I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
