That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
