It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
