we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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