she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
