your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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