they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
