Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
