check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
