love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
