I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
