his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
