love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
