She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
