Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
