Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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